I have finally come to the conclusion I have absolutely no friends. My only friends are only around when their boyfriend or someone better isn't around. All I'm asking for is one person who doesn't mind being around me, someone who enjoys food as much as me and someone who likes to get day drunk by the pool.
Any takers? No.. ALRIGHTY THEN
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Car
It's 11:30 in the morning, I got home from work 4 and half hours ago and still haven't slept.. I just need to mention, I have no social life. McDonald's has taken over. I am the slave. My routine consists of a shower, sleep all day, get up, make myself look presentable, then go to work all night. And where does my money go? I couldn't tell you if my life depended on it. $400 to fix my piece of shit car. Who looks at an axle when they buy a second hand car anyway? Clearly not me..
Out for a nice spin one day with one of the girls, next thing ya know I lose control and the car goes off to the side of the road. Imagine me now, I have only had my car a week when this thing goes. Not to mention I know sweet fuck all about cars so this was a real nice play out. I think I must have spent 20 minutes calling my best guy friend, and the guy from my previous post. Of course I can always count on my bud D. He shows up, tells me whats wrong, consoles me, talks to my parents, then does a mint liq run for me. He's probably the sweetest human being I know. Just like a big brother always piking up for me!
Getting off topic, my poor car is sitting in my drive way like a tease. If this is what guys think of me then I apologize men.. This sucks, doesn't suck as bad as Miley Cyrus twerking but it's still pretty bad. I could name off everything wrong with my car but the shorter list would be the things that are right with it. Plus my parents took my car key away because it's MY fault the axle snapped.. which it wasn't. My parents enjoy being the ones in control, I find it rather funny. Okay maybe not funny, but slightly annoying.
But on the plus side, before my car broke, I kissed a boy, yes a real boy.. and yes my own age. The downside to that, I guess once again I'm proven to be a toy, used whenever. Because this boy hasn't talked to me since. Might be time to start my cat collection... This is how I'm predicting my future.
Elegant and modern. I like the flow of the colors, the black with the brown and beige. So neutral. Their white paws add just the right amount of accent pieces to complete the look!
Out for a nice spin one day with one of the girls, next thing ya know I lose control and the car goes off to the side of the road. Imagine me now, I have only had my car a week when this thing goes. Not to mention I know sweet fuck all about cars so this was a real nice play out. I think I must have spent 20 minutes calling my best guy friend, and the guy from my previous post. Of course I can always count on my bud D. He shows up, tells me whats wrong, consoles me, talks to my parents, then does a mint liq run for me. He's probably the sweetest human being I know. Just like a big brother always piking up for me!
Getting off topic, my poor car is sitting in my drive way like a tease. If this is what guys think of me then I apologize men.. This sucks, doesn't suck as bad as Miley Cyrus twerking but it's still pretty bad. I could name off everything wrong with my car but the shorter list would be the things that are right with it. Plus my parents took my car key away because it's MY fault the axle snapped.. which it wasn't. My parents enjoy being the ones in control, I find it rather funny. Okay maybe not funny, but slightly annoying.
But on the plus side, before my car broke, I kissed a boy, yes a real boy.. and yes my own age. The downside to that, I guess once again I'm proven to be a toy, used whenever. Because this boy hasn't talked to me since. Might be time to start my cat collection... This is how I'm predicting my future.
Elegant and modern. I like the flow of the colors, the black with the brown and beige. So neutral. Their white paws add just the right amount of accent pieces to complete the look!
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Him
Here's the latest and greatest part of my life..
Over the last lets say 5 months I was lead on, heart broken & humiliated by this guy.
For the sake of their pride I won't mention names, seeing as I can be the bigger person. Maybe this makes me the little person by writing about it I don't know nor do I care honestly. This "man" for lack of a better word, toyed me around. Yes shame on me for thinking someone 9 years older than me could ever have legitimate feelings for me but I was sweet talked into thinking he did.
It all started with a simple drive after work, he picked me up and we hit it off, we talked about everything under the moon. It was great we stayed out all night even went to a look off and just stared up at the stars. Cheesy.. yes, but still really sweet and simple. Now at this point I wasn't really looking for a relationship with him, I was looking for a decent male friend I could turn to if I ever needed anything.
We started hanging around more often, and every Saturday we were together at least 90% of the day. I'd go over in the morning after work (The sweet joys of backs shifts..) and we'd cuddle and just sleep. I didn't mention we worked together did I? Oh yes we do! Anyway everything was going fantastic for months, we got really close and it was nice finally being with someone who I thought cared about me. Things went so well he asked me to move in with him. Of course I didn't say yes right away, that's a big thing. I said I would think about it. So over the next week I picked up a couple extra shifts at work because in the back of my mind I really was going to do it, I just figured I should have some extra cash on hand for some of the expenses. Which makes sense right?
Had to have been a Saturday night in June maybe the 15th, he decides to go out with one of his friends. Which I had no problem with, I trusted him to not do anything stupid whatever.. So I'm at work and he's texting me just talking like we always do. I asked him who his friend was bringing home, and he said a name. I was joking around when I asked him who he was going to bring home. To my surprise I was a little hurt when he said her name. Just like that I lost someone that I honestly started to care for and was expecting a little bit more from. Of course I couldn't get mad at him because we never officially talked about dating, but I mean spending everyday together and sleeping together, being asked to move in should count for something, should it not? But no apparently all we were doing was "Fucking around" those words straight from his mouth. Now when I heard this I just cried, I was so hurt about it all and there was absolutely nothing I could say. I couldn't even avoid him because we work together almost every night. When he found out how much he hurt me, or thought I was hurt he apologized but it didn't console me any. I was still left to dust and he had moved on.
That was just the short version of everything that is going on with him. Do I still have feelings for him? Yes. Is it hard to talk to him like nothing ever happened? Yeah. Is it almost impossible being the one he talks to when there is something going on with this new girl? Absolutely. Of course I'm going to be a tad bit jealous of her.. because I'm not her. And it's just the thoughts that get to you, why wasn't I good enough? Is it because she's prettier, skinnier, funnier.. all things you wonder but can never ask..
Over the last lets say 5 months I was lead on, heart broken & humiliated by this guy.
For the sake of their pride I won't mention names, seeing as I can be the bigger person. Maybe this makes me the little person by writing about it I don't know nor do I care honestly. This "man" for lack of a better word, toyed me around. Yes shame on me for thinking someone 9 years older than me could ever have legitimate feelings for me but I was sweet talked into thinking he did.
It all started with a simple drive after work, he picked me up and we hit it off, we talked about everything under the moon. It was great we stayed out all night even went to a look off and just stared up at the stars. Cheesy.. yes, but still really sweet and simple. Now at this point I wasn't really looking for a relationship with him, I was looking for a decent male friend I could turn to if I ever needed anything.
We started hanging around more often, and every Saturday we were together at least 90% of the day. I'd go over in the morning after work (The sweet joys of backs shifts..) and we'd cuddle and just sleep. I didn't mention we worked together did I? Oh yes we do! Anyway everything was going fantastic for months, we got really close and it was nice finally being with someone who I thought cared about me. Things went so well he asked me to move in with him. Of course I didn't say yes right away, that's a big thing. I said I would think about it. So over the next week I picked up a couple extra shifts at work because in the back of my mind I really was going to do it, I just figured I should have some extra cash on hand for some of the expenses. Which makes sense right?
Had to have been a Saturday night in June maybe the 15th, he decides to go out with one of his friends. Which I had no problem with, I trusted him to not do anything stupid whatever.. So I'm at work and he's texting me just talking like we always do. I asked him who his friend was bringing home, and he said a name. I was joking around when I asked him who he was going to bring home. To my surprise I was a little hurt when he said her name. Just like that I lost someone that I honestly started to care for and was expecting a little bit more from. Of course I couldn't get mad at him because we never officially talked about dating, but I mean spending everyday together and sleeping together, being asked to move in should count for something, should it not? But no apparently all we were doing was "Fucking around" those words straight from his mouth. Now when I heard this I just cried, I was so hurt about it all and there was absolutely nothing I could say. I couldn't even avoid him because we work together almost every night. When he found out how much he hurt me, or thought I was hurt he apologized but it didn't console me any. I was still left to dust and he had moved on.
That was just the short version of everything that is going on with him. Do I still have feelings for him? Yes. Is it hard to talk to him like nothing ever happened? Yeah. Is it almost impossible being the one he talks to when there is something going on with this new girl? Absolutely. Of course I'm going to be a tad bit jealous of her.. because I'm not her. And it's just the thoughts that get to you, why wasn't I good enough? Is it because she's prettier, skinnier, funnier.. all things you wonder but can never ask..
Monday, July 29, 2013
Introducing Me
I'm not sure how these blogs work, is it a venting thing people do or is it something actually useful. Either way I don't really care. We're just going to see how this goes. First off, I'm nothing special. Meaning I'm no writer, I'm not creative, there is nothing distinguishing about me. I'm just a small town girl with nothing going on. My life is just a constant stream of shitty happenings and filled with bad luck. Because I choose it to be that way or it's just "Fate" who knows, but lately I just seem to be having the absolute worst luck going.
So, if anyone is reading these.. here you go a little about me without all my personal details, you guys are on a need to know basis. Still trying to build that trust you know. There's my first problem, trust. I have absolutely none. I am forever scared to put trust into people because all I have known is people leaving me and people stirring up ridiculous amounts of shit about things I have told them.
Now I know you're probably thinking something along the lines of " This is just a mood fucking teenager." Sounds about right. I complain, but shit don't we all? You don't know me and I won't say some bullshit line about "don't judge a book by it's cover" cause you're just going to do it anyway. SO JUDGE AWAY LITTLE ONES, I DON'T KNOW YOU AND YOU DON'T KNOW ME! But you must find some interest if you're still reading this right now. Anyway, If you can't tell I ramble. I could ramble and rant for hours if you get me going enough.
And before you go saying, "shit son, this crazy girl has nothing better to do with her time other than write about her feelings.." blah blah blah, I work, and I work damn hard dealing with the public.. serving fast food. By no means am I saying my job is strenuous or hard ( in a laborious way) because it's not, but it's mentally frustrating and exhausting. You tend to realize that there is no such thing as common sense or common courtesy anymore. Like jeez people a little thank you is fantastic.
I can't think of something or someone else that has always been there for me, other than my little black shih tzu baby, Lola. The one thing in my life that hasn't judged me on my bad decisions. Yes I'm a dog lover I believe if you have a dog nothing else will matter, they know exactly what you're feeling and whenever you're upset they can feel that and will try everything in their power to make you feel better.
This is getting a little lengthy, which again I'm not sure is supposed to be or not, but hell with it. Maybe I'll post something again who knows.. until then if someone was reading this, hope you enjoyed this little snippet of my life. Cause this sure as hell isn't all of it.
So, if anyone is reading these.. here you go a little about me without all my personal details, you guys are on a need to know basis. Still trying to build that trust you know. There's my first problem, trust. I have absolutely none. I am forever scared to put trust into people because all I have known is people leaving me and people stirring up ridiculous amounts of shit about things I have told them.
Now I know you're probably thinking something along the lines of " This is just a mood fucking teenager." Sounds about right. I complain, but shit don't we all? You don't know me and I won't say some bullshit line about "don't judge a book by it's cover" cause you're just going to do it anyway. SO JUDGE AWAY LITTLE ONES, I DON'T KNOW YOU AND YOU DON'T KNOW ME! But you must find some interest if you're still reading this right now. Anyway, If you can't tell I ramble. I could ramble and rant for hours if you get me going enough.
And before you go saying, "shit son, this crazy girl has nothing better to do with her time other than write about her feelings.." blah blah blah, I work, and I work damn hard dealing with the public.. serving fast food. By no means am I saying my job is strenuous or hard ( in a laborious way) because it's not, but it's mentally frustrating and exhausting. You tend to realize that there is no such thing as common sense or common courtesy anymore. Like jeez people a little thank you is fantastic.
I can't think of something or someone else that has always been there for me, other than my little black shih tzu baby, Lola. The one thing in my life that hasn't judged me on my bad decisions. Yes I'm a dog lover I believe if you have a dog nothing else will matter, they know exactly what you're feeling and whenever you're upset they can feel that and will try everything in their power to make you feel better.
This is getting a little lengthy, which again I'm not sure is supposed to be or not, but hell with it. Maybe I'll post something again who knows.. until then if someone was reading this, hope you enjoyed this little snippet of my life. Cause this sure as hell isn't all of it.
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